The Boys Know.....................

Well, it's official......her boys are in the know about us.  Funny, we have been sweating this one for several months.  We have prayed and worried and made ourselves near sick....and we come to find out THEY ALREADY KNEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She had planned to tell them sometime this week, before the end of September.  Then, we ran into a friend of her younger son's dad (the friend's dad, that is) at a party on Saturday night.  He mentioned that his son had told him about us and that he got this information directly from her son!  Needless to say, we were stunned!  So she went home and thought a lot.  I thought a lot too.  Our thoughts were these:  1.  they obviously know, but for how long had they been sitting in this? 2. for however long they have known, they have still acted like they love her.  3. her oldest son still kept the necklace around his neck that I gave him, and even thanked me for a birthday present, so they don't hate me  4.  they can't be completely ashamed if one of them shared the news with a friend. 

The next day she told them that they needed to have a talk and to meet back at the house at a certain time.  The oldest son sent a text a while later stating that he wanted to stay at a friends house a while longer and jam (he's a musician), and then the text went something like this...."if this talk is about you and Stacy's relationship, I already know and it's no big deal..."   Well, of course, there were still things to be discussed so she summoned him home a while later and opened a discussion forum with her kids about us.  Both just shrugged their shoulders and said it was okay, they love their mom, they like me just fine, and that it just wasn't such a big thing!!! She stated very clearly so that they would not think this was some crazy phase or something that we are IN LOVE, that this relationship is here to STAY.  She told them this would not directly affect what their lives would look like in the short term, and then they all hugged!  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???????  What amazing kids! 

Now we aren't totally naive to think that there won't arise some negative feelings in the future about this.  But all this time we had worried they would scream, yell, be unable to function, be hit as if with a boulder crushing their whole world!  Perhaps it is beccause they already knew.....they had been able to process this slowly, probably not believing it, but finally admitting to themselves that yes, this must be what is really happening.  I don't know.  But I know we prayed our asses off and God answered.  He somehow, in his Infinite Grace, spared those boys from the devastation that this might have created.  I also attribute it to her wonderful upbringing of such sweet, tolerant, wise and accepting young men.  She is an inspiring mom, to be sure.  God, I love her so much!

Random............

Well, things are getting so busy now.....thought with school starting it woud get easier and it has, but all those afterschool activities get crazy! Seriously, I think that parents have a tendency to overschedule their kids these days.  I really think kids need a couple of days a week when they can come home from school and do nothing but homework, play in the yard, even veg in front of the tube if they want, make something from an old box. I am a huge proponent of providing opportunities and structure and consistantly, but they need to also learn that life doesn't have to be at top speed ALL THE TIME! 

My ex was the most fun and exhausting person to vacation with.  He would have every single moment of our vacations booked to the point of utter chaos!  They were always fun, but I would return feeling as if I needed to take a vacation after the exhaustion of my vacation!  LOL  I love that about Monica.  She loves to relax, she isn't always expecting me to be accomplishing something 24/7.  In fact, we love to park our butts on the sofa and snuggle and watch tv for hours.  It's so refreshing! Good thing, too, because we gonna be so poor when our men are outta the pic, we need to not have  expensive tastes. 

I have turned down many job interviews this year......I really really wanted to teach! (I am a certified teacher in Chem, math, physics), but I felt that on the three days a week after school that I have my kids, I wanted to actually HAVE my kdis.  I wanted tto be there to see them off to school, help them with homework, take them to their activities. They deserve that, at least this year for sure, after all they have been through with this divorce and stuff.   I know that my turn will come, but it is a short time that I have them young and can make such a difference in their world. 

Kids are a constant sacrifice.  They are worth it, but it is constant.  When I divorced my ex, I knew he would fight me for the money, at any cost to the kids, which is a tragedy.   Instead of fighting for my half, I just settled for way less and we are now able to be friendly, which is so important for them.  I knew that his money meant a world more to him than we did......oh well.  You can't take it with you when you're gone...

Monica's oldest son will be 18 in a few days.  How exciting for him! His court appearance was uneventful and he will not have to have  any major punishment inflicted on him (praise God!).  I think so much of that kid! We haven't had a chance to get to know eachother a TON, but I have had the privilege of sharing some of his teenage-ness with him a bit.  What a trip he is! Not just his age--I love teenagers, used to teach them, yada yada. But he is quite a personality!  Amusing, full of life, smart as hell.....great great kid! I think she is gonna tell them soon....after his birthday.  If not, she should for sure wait til after the holidays since it would be too close and would ruin their holidays.  Probably will ruin them anyway.....I feel so bad! I would never wanna hurt somebody or destroy someone's family! 

None of this situation makes any sense, not any of it! If I were an outsider, I would shake my head and say, "Now, that is just not right!"  It defies all logic.  But all I need is to take one look at her, that pretty face, that smile, those eyes, and that is really all the logic I need to have.....I am home.

Mommies in love.....................

Aaaaaaaaaaahhh, I had the most fantastic 24 hours with my girl.  So amazing!  We didn't really do anything except sit around snugglin', eating great food, drinking wine...........such a perfect day. Then when the time for her to leave starts approaching, I start getting a little bit sad.  I know it's silly, but I miss her in an almost physical way when she walks out that door.  I know she is just a few miles down the road, being with her kids, and I am here with mine. 

Oh, how I wish we could simply integrated our lives!  But I know that for now, and probably several years into the future, it simply will not be possible.  Her boys will have a long road ahead when she decides to tell them.  I wonder when she will feel that the time is right to do that?  In a way, it's something I want her to put off forever.  In another way, it's something I wish she would do NOW, and just get it over with.....let the process begin for them.  They know their parents marriage is practically over....they are probably scared, wondering what life will look like for them, but they are also too scared to ask.  I am sure, however, that in their wildest imagination, they are not picturing their future with a gay mom.  I also know that they will HATE me, at least for a time, hopefully not forever.  I also am pretty sure that when she tells them, things will, for a duration, look differently for her and me, that she won't be able to simply tell them, "I am going off to Stacy's house" and then come over here!

Her older son has a court appearance today and I have been praying that it will all be okay.  He's been in some minor trouble, teenage stuff, but troubling still, to be sure.  She is such a strong woman, such an amazing mom. I hurt to see her having to deal with this stuff, taking her boy to court.  It scares me for him too, because he is a very unique and special kid, so smart and funny, so full of life and huge potential.....I don't want to see his future crippled by any stupid mistakes he's made and was unfortunate enough to get caught. 

There's so much else on my mind..........but sittin her is making me sleepy, despite the coffee I am drinking, and there's no time for sleepiness.  It's shower, get kids fed and off to school time, then hittin' the gym, studying, pickin up kids, soccer practice, tutoring a kid in math, dinner, bath, and beddy-bye time.  Then, maybe I can relax and tell you all the other wierdness.

So beautiful...........

I love Monica.....I don't just love her, I really really LOVE her.  I love the way she smells.  I love the tone of her voice, kind of raspy but so feminine too.  I love her laughter and the things that make her laugh.  I love her curvy soft lips and her white teeth, with that one crooked one, her snaggletooth, so cute, so sexy.  I love her cheekbones and her dark almond shaped eyes.  I love staring into them, they are so dynamic...sometimes a deep dark brown, other times sparkling like a reddish Indian brown.  I love her eyelashes, so dark and curling upward.  I love the shape of her nose and I love the pink birthmark on her cheek that I can sometimes see peeking through her makeup.  I love the heartshaped freckle on her other cheek.  I love the sprinkling of freckles on her shoulders and chest.  Her arms are so strong and defined, but curvy and feminine too.  I love the curves in her body......she is so toned and still so soft.  Her skin is like silk and is always so warm.  I love it when she lays her body down on mine....she is so dainty and soft and warm, and she smells so good, like flowers in the sun.  She is so intoxicating, like the best drug I ever did.  But the best, the very best is just looking in those brown eyes.....oh, those eyes! They are the most beautiful exotic, alluring eyes I ever saw, and I get lost every time I look in them.  There are sometimes that I simply can't look because I know when I do, I won't be able to look away...I am stuck, sucked in........those are the prettiest eyes in the world. 

Date Night!!!!!!!!!!!!

So excited to get to spend the evening with Monica!  We don't get to spend the night together very often since we both have kids so we get to have a sleepover tonight! We were planning to go to a movie, "The kids are alright", which we hear is a great movie about two lesbians who's kids are by AI and go seek out the common father.  Anyway, just realized it isn't playing anymore in the theater so I think we are gonan cook and watch a movie here. 
My ex's new girlfriend has a sister who is gay so she is very supportive and hence, so is he.  They have recommended that I watch the movie, "For the Bible tells me so", which is a documentary about how fundamentalist Christians have misinterpreted the Bible to further their anti-gay agenda.  I should see it and maybe I will feel better about all of this......shoot, I should make my mom see it! 
But tonight it's just wine, food, and snugglin' on the sofa.....until bedtime that is.  ;)  Amazing how such a simple pleasure can seem like so much.  When we can finally actually "be" together, I know we will not take it for granted because we have had to go through so much to be able to get there.  We are on our way................BIG SMILES ALL AROUND!  
Last date night we had to call it quits in the middle to go bail her teenage son out of jail for underage drinking at a party....we just laughed later on because we are both moms and well, that's just what parents do!  Wishing everyone a safe, happy, peaceful night...filled with LOVE!  

ENCHANTED!

en·chant (n-chnt)


tr.v. en·chant·ed, en·chant·ing, en·chants

1. To cast a spell over; bewitch.

2. To attract and delight; entrance.
 
This is the dictionary definition for "enchant".  I really like this word because anyone who has ever experienced love at first sight or even over a period of time fallen head over heels in love with someone knows that this is a fantastic word used to describe the hold that love has over you.  That is precisely what Monica, unbeknownst to her, did to me the first time I ever saw her.  She was like a shock to all my senses.....shoot, I just plain LOST all my senses.......all I knew, all that I had believed of myself, all that I had resolved to be... completely flew out the door. 
 
I feel like life had been on this one course for many many years.  That course was fraught with painful bumps, potholes, mud......just as is any course in life.  But the scenery was also bleak.  I was just traveling through deadness, like gray skies, dead trees, darkness.  And I was traveling this road in shackles.  And the whole time, I kept looking around and saying, "See??? Isn't this great?? Isn't this beautiful?" because I had been taught that this type of course was supposed to be beautiful.  And probably because I hoped if I told myself that enough times, perhaps I would start to buy into it.  But I was restless......incomplete.....disrespected by my man....and consequently, disrespected by myself, too.  I had lost myself trying so hard to be what everyone told me I was supposed to be.
 
Then all of the sudden, my dusty little cart traveling through life just derailed and hopped onto a completely different track!  While I sat around and marveled at how that could have even possibly happened, the most beautiful world began to spring up around me, full of light and life, full of understanding, respect, love.  The world had never looked more beautiful, even though the potholes were deeper, the bumps more like mountains.  And now the whole earth sparkles! The air smells cleaner, the sky looks bluer, my sheets feel softer, even the food tastes better!
 
She just unknowingly cast a spell on me and I have never been and never will be the same.  Why didn't someone tell me it could feel like this?  It never seems to fade.  I never get used to looking at her--each time I see her, I am bewitched all over again.   She takes my breath right away and I can hardly even focus on what she is saying becasue I am so taken in by simply watching her mouth move as she speaks.  There is magic all through my life now, and I know I am being so selfish, but I am not willing to let it go.....I feel powerless even to try.  I am wildly in love with that girl......there is little I wouldn't do for her, to be with her................I am completely and utterly ENCHANTED.

Justa checkin' in.....

Well, church was a disaster.  Not because of my mom, but because my little boys decided that during the sermon was a good time for a wrestling match, so we had to leave early. 

Monica ended up coming over that day and my mom was a ton nicer!  Probably because I told her that it would really mean alot to me if she made an effort.  I also came right out and voiced my frustration with her, which I probably shouldn't have done.  Understandably, this is hard for anyone to take and will take her time to get used to. 

I have to admit that I, myself, might even think that I was having a midlife crisis if I were an outsider looking in.  I would say, "that woman has gone plum crazy!  Running off to be a lesbian in her late 30's! How on earth could she do that to her kids?"  I probably would seriously think that, which is a huge reminder to me that you can't really ever know how you would be in any situation until you have been there.  Until you have sat where someone else is sitting, it may be important not to be so quick to pass judgement. 

Aaaah, I spent a most relaxing morning watching TV snuggling with Monica on the sofa.  We were quite lazy actually and I accomplished little else today.  I am going to go tutor three students in math this afternoon so I am going to be slightly productive.  Being in love can make you so lazy!! It's like a great drug.....All you wanna do is float around and spend every moment with your sweetie!  Aaaaaaahhhhh........floating off to do algebra, geometry, and statistics....how romantic! haha!

Diarrhea of the fingers this morning.....

Taking Mom, Dad, and the kids to church today.  Yes, to the church that fired me from teaching Sunday school--over an unconfirmed rumor of my gayness!  Stupid!  I even asked the lady when she called and told me to "step down", I said, "Why? Because I am such a danger to small children?"  I actually really like the church, or LIKED the church I should say.  It's one of those mega churches that I was once opposed to.  The pastor is this amazing speaker, Andy Stanley, who actually spoke at O'Bamas inaugural prayer ceremony.  Anyway, I like the church because it's like a rock and roll church and you can dress how you want and lots of people have freaky hair and tattoos....and of course alot of them don't too, but it's still really cool.  Except that they are homophobic.  Perhaps God will have some great loving message there for my mom to be receptive to today.  Maybe I should try a gay church--they have them in the city.

Funny, I have never been on the recieving end of discrimination before.  I don't usually discriminate based on race, sexualy orientation, etc., so I really didn't ever notice that it is really prevalent.  Even when Monica and I go out on a date and hold hands or kiss eachother, most people either pretend not to notice or seem a little weirded out.  My daughter even said to me, "Mom, I think you are pretty enough."  to which I smiled and thanked her, because I am on the better side of average for sure, and she said, "You ought to be able to get a man."  LOL!  She just thought maybe I was desperate and that's why I am now with a woman! I told her I didn't expect her to understand becasue she is a boy crazy seven year old, and I didn't expect her to love it, since it does set her apart from other kids, but I do expect her to respect my choices and my happiness.

I don't want to have to defend my lesbianics.  I never did like the gay pride bumper stickers since I always thought it was obnoxious to point out your orientation at all.  Like I never had a sticker on my car that said, "I like men! I'm straight!" But I am now seeing that people are hateful, mean.  It may be necessary to be obnoxious in defense of my love for Monica and my defense that I can still be a Christian too.  That being gay and Christian are not mutually exclusive of eachother.  Maybe the problem is just that I am living in the Atlanta suburbs where the people arouond her have their granny panties on too tight for comfort!

They should make a different word for "gay", because being gay is way harder than I ever thought it would be---never spent much time thinking on it since I was relatively certain that I wasn't.  But there has been a lot going on that doesn't make me feel so gay (happy) these days.  And yet, the minute I see her, she shoots an arrow straight through my heart.  Every time I see her, it's like looking at an angel, and a love like this could only be the fingerprint of God himself. 

What about ME???????!!!!!

Well, Monica is literally in tears, and I am just PISSED!  Well, I actually think I got her to feelin a little better and she has probably gone off to sleep now, but here I am in my house, awake.....blood boiling.  Nothing explosive took place, but last night (I think I already posted some of this) my mom was.....sorta cold shoulder a little bit to my girl.  She was not outright rude, but not nearly as polite as she would have been if.....well, really...some stranger came in off the street for dinner!  She never asked her about herself, her kids, her work, anything.  In fact, she had a very hard time looking at her and was quick to leave the table.  Then, (and I have only just heard this today), Monica tried to go find her and talk to her.  With my four year old on her back for a piggy ride, she found my mom and my 7year old daughter doing a puzzle.  She said she tried to make conversation, but was answered with quick one word answers and after a minute or two, they told her and my son to leave them alone so that they could do the puzzle!  As she put it, she said, "Stacy, I am just not used to having someone in essence, put their hand up and hold me at a distance."  She said it was so hard for her to approach my mom, so scary, and then just crushed her to be ignored.

Monica politely declined my offer to come to dinner with us and when I called her tonight, I could tell she had been crying.  She told me how hard it is to want to go talk to my mom, ask her what I was like as a child, laugh with her, share the joy of my kids with her, and she just felt so unwelcome! 
So yes, I am pissed that my mom would, although I know if was unintentional, hurt the love of my life and shut her out, but my anger is going deeper and deeper than that right now.  Monica's family has completely shut her out--she hasn't even heard from her parents in weeks! 

Interestingly, Monica was just telling me about a Dr. Phil show that she watched, and saved to DVR.  The gist of it was this:  a lady had been married for 18 years and suddenly falls head over heels for a woman.  Four years later, she is still married to the husband, who is aware of the situation and they are separated, but they haven't gotten a divorce because they are both wondering if this is some sort of a phase for her.  (Mind you, I haven't seen it yet, so this is all 2nd hand).  Dr. Phil then asks the woman if she can live without this other woman to which the answer is emphatically NO.  So he then says to the husband something to the effect of, "Okay, so this is where she is now......this is not a phase for her.....this is her life, who she is.  This is not something that she has chosen, any more than you can  choose to be in love with a man.  It simply is...and it wouldn't be fair to anyone for her to pretend that this isn't who she is and stay with you."  But for years, the woman, her husband, and presumably the other woman, have been in limbo, unable to move forward in their lives.  And nobody in that situation would have picked this type of emotional turmoil, this inner stalemate!  Nobody selected it!  How tragic for ALL involved. 

And that's what is starting to really make me mad......this has been the most life altering, and in many ways, tragic discovery of my life!!! I mourn when I see families eating out together, mom, dad, and kids, because I wanted that! I wanted a normal, happy, heterosexual family for my kids, for me!!  I didn't just say, "Hey, let me make life SUPER hard for me and everyone I love!"  Who does that?  I truly couldn't help it, honest.  I am a strong strong woman, and believe me, if I could have stopped it, I would have.  So, all of these people who are supposed to love us unconditionally, why are they so wrapped up in how THEY feel about this?  Not one person, (except believe it or not, my ex), has ever been concerned about how hard this is for me!!! For us!  No, because they are so damn wrapped up in how hard it is for them! And it's not even happening to them!  I am so sick and tired of tiptoeing around this situation worried about how it hard it will be for other people.....what about me????? It's MY situation!!

I gotta tell you, besides the five kids involved, I really don't care anymore one bit what anyone else has to say.  I am tired of it.....not once has anybody ever sat down with either of us and said, "Wow, this must be so hard for you to suddenly discover, while you are married and have kids and living in suburban America, that you're GAY!"  It's interesting really, we were just saying that a lot of people's true colors are showing these days.....we are finding out who our true friends are....and don't get me wrong, we do have ALOT of them.  But it's just sad that some of the people that you thought would always have your back, would always be there for you, just disappear in an instant.  Jerks!  Sorry, I might need to cry later, but for right now, I am just really angry.
 
My mom doesn't even realize what she is doing because if she doesn't act a little nicer tomorrow, this will be the last visit she makes up here.  She is pushing me away over something that ISN'T EVEN HER DEAL, and she is going to lose me and consequently, she will not get to see the kids as much.  That is so sad for her and for my kids.....well, and for me, since we all seek that unconditional love from our parents.  Why has she never once asked me how this has been for me?  Monica and I have been so worried about hurting other people, aren't we people too???  I mean, of course, the kids are still of the utmost concern, but helloooooooooo, WHAT ABOUT ME???!!!!!!

They're Heeeeeeere!

Well, Mom and Dad are here.  The tension is thick, but Mom is really trying........I think.  Last night Monica came over for an hour or so.....Mom is friendly, but I notice that she doesn't act like she would to another friend of mine, and she also doesn't act like she would to a boyfriend of mine.  She doesn't ask Monica about herself or how she is.....she's friendly enough, but doesn't instigate any conversation.  I guess I don't expect her to celebrate this if she doesn't believe it's right, but I would like her to at least try to celebrate my happiness, to appreciate that this woman treats her baby girl better than any man ever has, that here is a woman who loves me, builds me up, celebrates me.  I would want someone to do that for my kids and I don't care what sex they are or what color they are, or any of that nonsense. 
Sometimes my mom is just so narrowminded.  She really is quite hypocritical if I do say so.  She is all about loving others as Jesus does, but she doesn't actually do this......she just preaches it.  I dunno...I am rambling now with no structure whatsoever in this post.
Love my parents.....trying trying trying to enjoy the visit with them while my sweet dad still knows who I am. 

OMG! Mom and Dad coming to visit today!

Welp, mom and dad are coming today.  After about a three hour long discussion the other day about my "gayness" with my mom, who finally just said that she may never be okay with it but will be okay with me and would like to get to know Monica better, she is making the effort to come up here into my world.  She even asked about my girl on the phone yesterday! So, I will certainly give her an A for effort!
It was interesting when Monica and I were watching "The Real L Word" series on HBO, there was a girl, Tracie, whose mom was also reallly struggling to accept that her daughter was a lesbian.  She kept saying that maybe Tracie was "confused".  Sad to see that it had been like three years since she had come out to her mom and she couldn't even really talk about her girlfriend on the phone to her. 
My own girlfriend recently told her parents what was going on.  They live clear accross the country so she was able to sort of hide her impending divorce until their separation was well under way.  Her parents told her how much they love her and they were naturally shocked and sad for her.  I am sure they are fearful of her future as it was a stable, albeit lonely one, with her husband.  This was several weeks ago--they haven't spoken with her since. 
I guess it is hard for me because I understand the shock that must be going through everyone's head.  People think that we are having some sort of a midlife crisis or something.  Who knows? Maybe we are!  But I know this--we are great loving moms and would NEVER EVER in a million years so drastically shake the foundation of our children's lives over some fleeting confused idea.  People seem to think that we just got together one day and said, "Hey, I gotta great idea! Let's become lesbians!  Cool!"  Hardly! This has not been without months of sleepless nights, heartache, tears, panic attacks, you name it.  Our lives are irretrievably altered.  And the ripples are fast and far reaching.
But what we both feel like screaming to the world is "Hello! It's me!  See! I am still me!" 
Oh, btw, I haven't put this in here because I simply skip around like stream of consciousness, but I was actually fired from teaching Sunday school because they had heard a rumor (from my ex-husband's small group) that I was gay--and I wasn't even out to the public at all!  They must think I am a danger to small children!  Well, that is the stupidest thing I ever heard in my life--because if they took out all the people in the church who sin, not only would there be nobody serving in that church, but they would have no parishioners either! It's not like I was showing up to teach Sunday school in rainbow gear!  Nobody even knew about it except my ex husband, his PI who followed us around, and Monica!  Absurd! Way to go, Northpoint Community Church!  Stupid!
So, gear up for mom.  Excited to see her--I just hope she doesn't drink to much because then she might not be able to help launching into a moral discussion of my current choices.    Pray for me!

Abomination

"If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them." (Leviticus 20:13)

This is one of the scriptures that people often cite to say that God abhors homosexuality.  Despite my own faith which has been very strong for at least a decade, and which I have had off and on much of my life, I haven't ever been able to make sense out of this belief.  When I was much younger, my thought was, "God made gay people too", but that doesn't really hold any water for me anymore.  After all, God made pedophiles and serial killers too, but I am quite certain that those behavoirs are sinful.  I am also of the belief that God doesn't want us to be promiscuous with anyone, that our bodies are temples of His Holy Spirit, and we are to care for them and not defile them, which I am certain I do every time I drink too much beer.  And I am also completely certain that the wonderful Lord frowns upon adultery, as it is one of the 10 rules that He personally gave to Moses. 
However, in regard to homosexual intimacy between two adults in love, here is my take.  C.S. Lewis said something like this, but not word for word, cuz I don't remember it ver batim. "We aren't bodies who have souls, we are souls who have bodies."  If you are a Christian, then you believe that we are souls, precious souls, whom the Lord our God seeks a personal relationship with, regardless of our the flesh container that we inhabit on this earth.  If you have ever been deeply in love, I ask you this........If something were to happen to the flesh container of your love, (it became crippled in a car crash, it's skin was badly burned and scarred, etc.) would you stop being in love with that person?  Of course not! Because you are not in love with a body, a flesh container.  Rather, you are in love with the soul, the essence of the person inhabiting that body.  Then doesn't it stand to reason that one can simply fall in love with another's soul, and perhaps that soul can just happen to inhabit a body that is of the same sex? 
Don't get me wrong......I love Monica's body (oh, do I!), but if she were to suddenly grow a male appendage tomorrow, I wouldn't love her any less............it is SHE whom I love.  It is the person, the soul, whom I adore with all my being.....whom I know that God created as a perfect companion for me. 
Another thing about homosexuality being a sin.......what about those poor souls who are born into the body of a hermaphodite?  Yes, it happens.  Persons born with both male and female parts.  According to many fundamentalist Christians, are they simply to be abstinant, without experiencing the pleasure of physical love for their entire lives?  Would God abhor those people having intimate physical relations with ANYONE?  Because sex with any other person would technically constitute homosexuality.  Unless of course, their parents chose a gender for them as infants and they had surgery.  Then, could anyone blame them if their desires went the other way?  Not the way the parents might have hoped when they picked a gender in this poor person's infancy?  Stupid!
Well, I've got plenty more to say on this issue......I could go round and round on it.  I have always been pro-gay marriage, even as right wing as I am.  I simply never thought I would be defending this stance because it affects me in such a personal way.......I am gay, as of right now--how in the hell did that happen????  No mind, how, I thank God everyday for putting her in my life, as hard as it has been.........and He and I talk quite often.............He loves me and I know that I am no abomination.