Well, things are moving along in the direction of us being together. It's so hard though, even still! She is over there just a couple of miles away with her estranged husband in town, everybody in that house just going through the normal motions and yet they ALL know what is going on. The boys are trying to act normal to their mom, have always had a somewhat strained relationship with their dad, from what I gather, and she and I just meet together when we can and talk of the phone any other moment we can steal away. I know that in a year or so, I will have to work full time and she will quite soon get busy with her stuff, but for now, I cherish so much the moments when we are simply together.....not even really doing much, but just in the same spot, talking, laughing, saying nothing.
My daughter is doing better--they LOVE their dad's new girlfiriend and they LOVE my girlfiriend too, as wierd as it may seem to my daughter. Monica's boys are not saying much about it, just moving along. This weekend we have a photo shoot of a new line of fitness clothing she is designing and her son will be there to take some pics. He has taken up a hobby of photography, which is a nice healthy activitiy for him and he will accompany the photographer this weekend to take some of his own shots. It gonna be a lil wierd.....showing so much skin in front of this kid, who now doesnt' see me as "mom's friend", but as "mom's girlfriend". The last thing I wanna do is have him seeing me in any sexy light since he for sure doesn't wanna think about me and his mom in any way like that! Plus, I feel a little nervous around him now. Don't really know how to act now that I know that he knows.
It's weird, because she is so integrated into my world......she comes over alot, hangs out with my kids, etc. But since she and her husband, although seperated, are still in the same house, I never go over there. I don't know her kids nearly as much as she knows mine, and I probably never will. After all, they are teenagers so they aren't chomping at the bit to hang with their parents anyway, even in a normal situation. I look forward to the day when our lives can be integrated......waiting is so hard, but I know that I would wait forever if that's what it took. She is so amazing........................aaaaaaah. I didn't fall in love with her, past tense, but I just continue falling deeper and deeper in love with her every day. That love is huge, thorough, so special....like my best friend, my greatest confidante and fan, my lover, and the object of my every base desire....all rolled into one! Like the best treat I ever had.....my personal narcotic.
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